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The Forgiveness Option

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DESCRIPTION Minor annoy-ances or difficul-ties, delays,unnecessaryextra work, lackof easy access

to something,confusions

Rude, insensitive,or offensiveremarks, verbalattacks on onesidentity, disre-gard or

disrespect

Physical,emotional,and/or psycho-logical wounds,including betray-als, rejection,

and publichumiliations

Death of aloved one, lossof ability orfunction, lossof property,reputation, or

relationship

Naturalcatastrophe,accidents,famine, war,disease

ESSENTIAL EFFORTSBEHIND BLAME

They arestupid.

They are wrong,conceited bigotsand jealous.

They arevictimizers,bullies, cheaters,and deceivers.

They aremurderers,criminals,and liars.

God hasforsakenme.

EXPECTATION THAT ISDISAPPOINTED

I deserve not tobe delayed.

I deserve tobe respected.

I deserve notto be hurt.

I deserveto have.

I deserve notto suffer.

TRADITIONAL FOLKCOMFORTS

Take a deepbreath andcount to ten.

Sticks and stoneswill break yourbones, but wordswill never hurtyou.

Some good willcome of it.

It couldbe worse.

Everythinghappens fora purpose.

Burdens of Life Chart

INCONVENIENCES INSULTS INJURIES LOSSES

ILL-FATED

CIRCUMSTANCES

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EXERCISE 1: THE BURDENS OF LIFE WORKSHEET

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This savings account of all the bad things thathave happened or been done to you is used tojustify your blame and anger. It also justifies

your species favorite mottos: "It wasnt myfault," "I was wronged," and, "You owe me."Your victim-misfortune accounts finance all

sorts of petty vengeance and pay interest inbouts of self-pity. Any time one of you turnsinto a criminal, or a terrorist, or somesorrowful psychiatric candidate, its fairlycertain that your victim-misfortune accountis overflowing.Whenever one of you grows bright enough to

suggest forgiveness, the rest of you team upagainst him or her. You know theyre out tobankrupt you. They threaten all your "How-Ive-

Suffered" stories. How cruel you think they are.Are these personal responsibility activists goingto let all your abusers off the hook? Set thecriminals free, while they blame you, the poorvictim, for not forgiving?Your economy could not survive widespread

forgiving. Victims with grudges are big money.There are enormous profits in insurance poli-cies, legal fees, medical fees, psychotherapyfees, alternative medicine fees, drug profits,security services, religious tithes, taxes,defense contractors and more. So anyones recom-mendation to accept, forgive, and get on withlife is not only threatening your cherishedemotional dramas, but also running into vestedinterests that make billions and billions ofdollars protecting your right to be victims.Your cultural view is predominantly a love

for retaliation and revenge. Watch the first20 minutes of your action adventure movies,and youll see the hero suffering some terribleform of victimization at the hands of a mutant--human abuser--the more terrible, the better hisjustification for spending the rest of the PG 13movie (made for your teenagers with adult lan-

guage and graphic violence) taking scorchingretribution.This is the model you offer your offspring. If

someone hurts you, you get even. For the adultsin charge there is a preemptive version: some-times you have to get even first.Its true that your courts and laws, as well

as your physical resources, restrain most of youfrom taking the violent actions of your movieheroes. Still, you model your life on the first

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20 minutes of the movie, exaggerating themisfortunes of your own life, then attemptingto satisfy your desire for retribution in

daydreams of mayhem and revenge. Daydreamingis only partially workable. In addition, mostof you periodically let off little bursts ofanger--slam a door, honk your horn, or givesomeone the finger.Even this is not enough for some of you who

fly airliners into buildings, blow away innocentpeople, or go on violent crime sprees.It seems that the majority of your race

believes forgiveness is a sign of weakness--something to console your mentally deficientreligious practitioners. If someone seriouslyrecommends forgiveness to you, theyre accom-

plices after the fact or trying to pull some-thing over on you.You guard your victimhood with determination.

If you lose that, what have you got left?Victimizer? How would you justify your righteousanger? It is obvious that righteous anger (isthere any other kind?) makes you feel powerful.If you lose your power, someone will try to makeyou feel guilty. Your enemies are the personalresponsibility activists; they blame the victim!To you, their suggestion to forgive is a disem-powering attack. As long as they feel threatenedby your superior ability to resist feeling,...

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EXERCISE 5: GOAL SETTING

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SEVENPILLARSOFENLIGHTENMENT

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MEET A LOCAL AVATAR MASTER

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WHO IS HARRY PALMER?

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Sar%s Edge Inernaional

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